so when i was but a miniature version of myself (same size head), there was this song. a rather catchy tune. think 1st grade-ish. sitting around in a circle on the bitterly cold, heavily waxed, vinyl tile floor of your mccarthy era built institution of primary learning with your runny-nosed ragamuffin compatriots and the aroma of freshly painted cinder block walls filling your teeny lungs. enter the school counselor (the italics button and parentheticals are gonna get a workout in this post). she traveled to our domain from the deep, smoke filled recesses of the children prohibited teacher’s lounge. the natives were brim with anticipation and excitement for the aforementioned chorus. i didn’t know what all the hubbub was about. i do remember janice from the electric mayhem being in my class (it may not have been her – i’m not sure. it really looked like her though). janice was very excited and apparently fond of this particular diddy from her last 1st grade experience. and then it began. right hand up. index finger only extended. everybody sing it with me now (sorta like 3 blind mice):
i’m number one.
i’m number one.
i’m number one.
seriously. we sang that. regularly. that’s all i remember friends. i tried to google it. found some equally disturbing stuff. not the holy grail of self-esteem propaganda though.
in my postimagination, i can see myself (who in my postimagination was wearing a suit and tie) looking around the room and thinking: how can we all be number one – and at what exactly are we number one? janice was obviously number one at 1st grade – given she had more experience than everyone else. other than that, my miniature self was confused.
i’m not number one. neither are you. maybe i’m number one at being me (hey maybe that was the lyric), but that’s not what anybody’s gonna take away from such a refrain. i’m sure the counselor had good intentions. when, however, you indoctrinate an entire generation into believing they are the best at presumably everything – entitlement sets in. hard work goes on a permanent vacation when there is nothing left to achieve. entitlement breeds dependency. dependency leads to a deeper sense of entitlement. entitlement means that instead of self esteem there is only self. self leads to over indulgence. self leads to indebtedness. self destroys relationships. self desensitizes you to oppression, injustice, and tyranny. because if i’m number one and that’s all that matters – there is nothing left to restore.
