people are funny. and awesome. folks have been asking if the king kept the streak alive at disney. usually it's kinda clandestine: asked in a, it's cool either way - i ain't gonna tell nobody, low tone whisper while looking both ways to ensure the coast is clear. that's appreciated. but, the cloak and dagger isn't necessary. a few of the regulars assumed i just went on hiatus - took a little breaky break. no break. the impossible is possible. had i blogged earlier, several explanations … [Read more...]
a new enemy
August 23, 2011 By
i need to work-out. i know this. but, it's gonna hurt. it's been awhile.the physical, psychological, and economic benefits are not lost on me. men's health was a long-time companion. my favorite author triumvirate all advocate physical exercise. past experience indicates that my mind and body function extraordinarily better with a consistent kinesthetic regimen. leaders exercise. got it. got it all. so why isn't this happening?oh, cause it's gonna hurt. pain is weakness leaving your body … [Read more...]
everybody needs a walk to the grocery store
July 5, 2011 By
freedom is a bittersweet mistress. celebrations of our freedom as Americans filled this past weekend. the royal couple also celebrated the nuptials of my life-long friend, Lord Luke The Bassmaster. the KoF was in the wedding and let's just say that Lord Luke knows how to throw a party.the rehearsal dinner presented a challenge, 'cause ya know . . . i don't eat at restaurants and stuff. the food looked and smelled fabulous. extraordinary appetizers were in overflowing supply. the entrees … [Read more...]
i eat food
May 23, 2011 By
Common Question: if you don't eat at restaurants, what do you eat? i eat food. Not lightning as has been rumored (i started that rumor and it never took), but food. For breakfast i eat a 1/2 cup of oatmeal (under $.07 per serving) with part of a banana, peanut butter, and splenda. Of my satisfying and tasty breakfast, splenda is the splurge. Including the splurge, breakfast still hovers around $.25 per serving total. Lunch is leftovers and dinner is usually an economically well-crafted QoF … [Read more...]
all good things come to an end
April 22, 2011 By
If you turn a card from the red side to the green side, several men with large knives come rushing at you. It's like a scene from a Tarantino film only instead of murderous villains it's a gaggle of pleasant servers wielding weapons of culinary bliss. Fogo is cool. The place makes you feel like you're snuggled up with your favorite blankie on a cold winter's day; if, of course, that blankie was seasoned in the finest South American fashion and grilled to perfection. The food just. keeps. … [Read more...]
Faith, Food, & Hulkamaniacs
April 6, 2011 By
Secret dream job: WWE ring announcer. Not color commentary, just introductions. Pro wrestling is not a guilty pleasure of mine. The KoF does not partake, but as a kid I allocated way too many hours to the sorta sport. So, I used to partake. Plus, I sound like a ring announcer or possibly Shock G from Digital Underground. Either way, given my knowledge base and sideshow voice, I'm uniquely qualified. The pursuit of this gig is futile. It would add nothing to my faith. I try to make that … [Read more...]
what makes the king cry?
April 1, 2011 By
About six months into the restaurant free journey, the Eldest Princess excitedly proclaimed that not eating at a restaurant for six months must be a world record. She was wrong. Not, I'm pretty sure she was wrong. Way wrong. To her credit, she's in the 3rd-grade. 3rd-graders are generally fascinated with world records. Somewhere along the way, I failed as a parent either in conveying an accurate understanding of the world or in the teaching of basic mathematics. So I gently explained the … [Read more...]
a moo moo, a pyramid, and a plan
March 29, 2011 By
Today, I did not eat at a restaurant. In part, it's 'cause I ain't goin' out like that. Like what? Like this: I once witnessed a morbidly obese woman in a moo moo at a restaurant discuss how her new exercise regimen was helping her breathe better. Thereafter, she commenced to eat a sky high pyramid of biscuits. At least it was a food pyramid? I've also sat with someone as she shared high hopes for her new weight loss medication - while contemporaneously dipping a fried chicken leg into … [Read more...]
I Got Nothin’ Against the Amish
March 27, 2011 By
Today, I did not eat at a restaurant. Sundays can prove difficult. The royal family attends church on Sundays. Thereafter, I'm tired. And hungry. And also hungry. When I'm hungry, I confuse easily and often repeat myself. So chalk it up to hunger induced confusion if you wish, but I'm quite confident that a Qdoba chicken burrito with black beans and guacamole once took the trouble to track down my vehicle at a stoplight to inform me that there was presently no line to speak of. True … [Read more...]
Honey, There’s a Dragon at the Door, but I think Chuck D Can Help
March 26, 2011 By
Once upon a time, shortly after the royal wedding, a baby dragon nested outside of the King and Queen's castle. Much like the King and Queen, the dragon was cute and very fun. So the King and Queen fed the dragon - a little bit over a long period of time. One day, with no written notice, the dragon had grown so large that it blocked the castle's drawbridge. The King and Queen were not free. The King and Queen were trapped. The young monarchs knew they were feeding the dragon, but its growth … [Read more...]
