how to scream you’re debt free

if you toil for four years to pay off over 127K in debt, you may wanna shout.  if you get the opportunity to shout during the dave ramsey show, you take it.  dave’s principles were instrumental in us slaying the debt dragon.  it has always been the goal to scream we’re debt free in studio.  it’s a big deal and an honor that we even get to do it.  but, as i sit with the QoF on the eve of our ceremonial screaming (wait, that somehow doesn’t sound right), i begin to pontificate.  could i mess this up? there’s a lot of pressure that goes into showing up at financial peace plaza, giving a good interview, meeting dave, and not botching the scream.  here’s our plan to avoid the perpetual dave ramsey blooper reel:

1.  no milk products within 24 hours or ice cold drinks within an hour of broadcast.  my voice is my only instrument on this one, gotta protect it. you don’t wanna go all peter brady when it’s your turn.  even though the QoF vetoed the barbershop style harmony version of the debt free scream, i still wanna sound my best.

2.  there are two of us so we have to decide who is going to speak first and work out a signal for the second person to take a question.  otherwise, it’s like you’re getting counsel from your attorney at a congressional hearing. on radio that’s dead air.  i bet dave doesn’t like dead air.

3.  dave.  have something to say to dave.  i went word salad when i met one of my favorite authors once and recently went silent when a state trooper asked where i was headed.  this confused the QoF because the answer was “nana’s house” and not an all night rave.  the second instance doesn’t concern me, because dave is not to my knowledge a state trooper nor a member of the legendary professional wrestling tag team, state patrol.1  but, he is one of my favorite authors so the odds are two to one that i could go catatonic like cameron from ferris bueller’s day off .

4.  for the love of mike, it is a countdown, not a countup.  a countdown is 3, 2, 1.  so if someone asks you to “count it down,”  do not start with the number one.  think shuttle launch; not jumping over a creek or pulling your partner off of his toilet that’s booby-trapped with explosives (no lethal weapon fans?).  again, hand signals will help so that we are in sink with our countdown. not jazz hands. more like a production assistant telling you you’re about to go live on air.

5.  at the end of the day, we’re debt free. so in the grand scheme of things if i jumble my words or have a mild bout of urinary incontinence – what’s it really matter? still. debt. free.  

1 these are the only and the king means only two instances where the king was ever at a loss for words.  i like words.  i’m available for speaking engagements.  just don’t book me to speak after one of my favorite authors.  or have flashing blue and red lights – i originally come from an interesting neighborhood where that’s a signal to stop talking.       

  • Russ & Rita

    Comment on #5 – with all this preparation, I’m sure you will be wearing Depends – just in case. Have a great scream – you don’t hear that often.

  • King of Free

    fortunately the QoF gets free samples