Today, I did not eat at a restaurant. In part, it's 'cause I ain't goin' out like that. Like what? Like this: I once witnessed a morbidly obese woman in a moo moo at a restaurant discuss how her new exercise regimen was helping her breathe better. Thereafter, she commenced to eat a sky high pyramid of biscuits. At least it was a food pyramid? I've also sat with someone as she shared high hopes for her new weight loss medication - while contemporaneously dipping a fried chicken leg into … [Read more...]
I Got Nothin’ Against the Amish
March 27, 2011 By
Today, I did not eat at a restaurant. Sundays can prove difficult. The royal family attends church on Sundays. Thereafter, I'm tired. And hungry. And also hungry. When I'm hungry, I confuse easily and often repeat myself. So chalk it up to hunger induced confusion if you wish, but I'm quite confident that a Qdoba chicken burrito with black beans and guacamole once took the trouble to track down my vehicle at a stoplight to inform me that there was presently no line to speak of. True … [Read more...]
Honey, There’s a Dragon at the Door, but I think Chuck D Can Help
March 26, 2011 By
Once upon a time, shortly after the royal wedding, a baby dragon nested outside of the King and Queen's castle. Much like the King and Queen, the dragon was cute and very fun. So the King and Queen fed the dragon - a little bit over a long period of time. One day, with no written notice, the dragon had grown so large that it blocked the castle's drawbridge. The King and Queen were not free. The King and Queen were trapped. The young monarchs knew they were feeding the dragon, but its growth … [Read more...]
Today, I did not eat at a restaurant
March 24, 2011 By
Today, I did not eat at a restaurant. Yesterday, I did not eat at a restaurant. It has been at least one year, two months, and twenty-four days since I have ate food or drink, free or paid, dine-in or take-out from a restaurant. My Queen has urged me to blog about this experience. To date my response has been, "today, I did not eat at a restaurant doesn't sound very interesting." It's not that interesting - for me. It's just how I roll. I also dress myself. Everyday. What somehow got lost on me … [Read more...]
